Big on the belly, short on the brains

Charlie Weis is an absolute ass.

Yes, mom said "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." and dad said "Go Irish" But mom never had a blog and dad said that when Lou Holtz was coaching up the Fighting Irish in the late 80s.

Charlie Weis thinks he's Bill Parcells and Bill Billichick. And why not? Afterall, for the past 6 years he has been taking credit for everything from Tom Brady, to 3 Super Bowl rings, to Brady Quinn's development, to great recruiting classes, to the success of the Bourne movies.

During that time Weis has also been labeled an "offensive genius" although I am told that has nothing to do with his behavior towards the media.

I'm sorry, but after watching the Irish the past two seasons I am still waiting for the genius to manifest itself. Apparently in order to be a "genius" all you need to do is recognize that Maurice Stovall and Jeff Samardzjia are much taller than the defensive backs covering them and then ask Brady Quinn to heave jump balls to them downfield. I believe jump balls accounted for 65% of Notre Dame's passing offense in 2005.

Weis now devoid of Samardzjia, Stovall and Quinn (who, after reading stories about how wonderful Weis was in developing, you would think was sucking on his thumb unable to take snaps and throwing balls underhanded before the genius arrived), and is thus forced to develop an actual roster. Weis recruited the top qb in the country in Jimmy Clausen. Apparently high school scouts noticed Clausen's ability and completely forgot that his brothers were complete train-wrecks in college and still annointed Clausen the next Todd Marinovich. Weis also had two other quarterbacks who are not very good.

So a qb competition was opened and after spring practice and summer drills Weis found himself 10 games out from their first game against pesky Georgia Tech and realized that his team is complete crap. I mean, that is the only rationale I can think of for choosing to name the starting quarterback without actually naming him aloud, or via sign language, or by writing it down. That's right kids, Weis is so confident in his play caller that he is telling everyone but, well, everyone.

Either that or maybe Weis is petrified over the schedule the Irish have concocted for him. The schedule is neither tough nor easy, but is instead loaded with games that are either tough or easy.

After opening up with Mr. X at the helm vs the Yellow Jackets, ND then hits the road to Michigan (Loss) and Penn State (loss) after an easy game against a badbadbad MSU squad at home ND then travels to Purdue for a clash against another bad team. The Irish need to hope for 3-2 at this juncture, but 2-3 is probable and 1-4 is not out of the question.

After that game they find themselves going to LA for UCLA for an almost certain loss followed by a toss-up against BC and then another home loss to USC. At this point, I see ND at 3-5. Oh, but don't cry for the Irish, two service academys (apparently Army was deemed "too tough" and matchups against Duke and Stanford close out a winning season for Weis and a trip to a Bowl game they probably do not deserve, where they will certainly be un-masked by a much better team for the 17th year in a row.

Of course, that will be of little consequence to Weis who will probably rail on the media all year, mention a Brady's name at least 3.5 times per day and be slurped by ESPN and NBC all the way through their December bowl loss. Weis will not lose the "offensive genius" monniker and the Irish fans will continue to swear he is an upgrade over Ty Willingham, you know, because he is one of them and because he is white.