Keep 'em in the Closet

With Bucky's depth chart set for the opener against WASU, and the early season polls and preseason predictions chewed and digested, its time to turn to lighter, but nonetheless important fare. Drivl took a shot at D1's worst mascots, and two BT teams found spots in the bottom 25, Purdue Pete and Brutus Buckeye. Brutus ranked #11 and was described as "...a turd nugget that has a chunk of corn embedded in it. He should be called a Butteye." Purdue Pete drew an unfavorable comparison from the movie "Mask."

What follow is my own list of BT mascots, ranked from top to bottom.

1. Buckingham U. Badger: I'm a homer, but Bucky is original, lovable, and universally admired.

2. Goldie Gopher: Not a fan of ground squirrels, but rodents rule in a top-heavy league.

3. Sparty: He kicked Athens' ass, and although a bit too Disney, the fear of God he instills in other mascots places him in the top tier.

4. Brutus Buckeye: the poisonous nut scores high on authenticity, but needs regular visits to the weight room.

5. Chief Illiniwek: I know, he's extinct, but the Chief, college's first mascot...I mean symbol...lives in the hearts of those few faithful who wait for basketball season on fall Saturdays at Memorial Stadium.

6. Wildie: Adds to Mildcat reputation of athletic dept. Couldn't the geniuses among their student body craft a more creative name?

7. Herky: Ask Iowa fans to define Hawkeye, and they stand with their mouths agape, sometimes referencing the Last of the Mohicans. Herky doesn't help clarify matters either.

8. Purdue Pete: Not officially the university mascot. That would be a train. Pete's connection to the locomotive appears spurious, and his costume is nothing more than a plastic head and a sledge hammer.

9. The Lion: Looks like an old (predating Joe Pa) dorm rug that survived (barely) an around-the-world party.

10. Hoosier: See my earlier post about the origins of the nickname. Sad blowup dolls are emblematic of the perennially pathetic showings of their teams and fans on Saturdays in Bloomington.

11. NA: Michigan fails to even make an effort an making a caricature of the only animal more ferocious than the Badger.